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Side Sippin'!!!
| SIDE SIPPIN' is the art of ingesting a beverage while lying comfortably on your side. I perfected this technique during when I was too comfortable to sit up. I recommend using this trick while lounging, watching TV, reading your favorite book, or anytime you find yourself just too lazy to sit up. Let me guide you through this invaluable skill step-by-step. |
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| Step 1. Pour yourself a nice tall beverage. Scotch preferably, Laphroaig if you got it. |  |
| Step 2. Time to kick back and get comfy. A fool believes that you're about to get up for anything. WARNING: Make sure your beverage is within easy reach! |
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| Step 3. Move the beverage to your mouth and create a seal between the bottom rim of the glass and your bottom lip. Please ensure that there are no gaps: if there are you will leak. Here's the key: completely relax your mouth and lips as shown. |
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| Step 4. Time for a systems check. Do you have an airtight seal? Once you start to pour there is no going back! Here is a close-up for you. ---> |
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| Step 5. Slowly tilt your glass up until you begin to pour the liquid into your mouth. Do not move your lips or adjust the seal for any reason! Then tilt the glass down until liquid is no longer flowing into your mouth (back to its starting position at step 3), maintaining the seal. It ain't over yet! |  |
| Step 6. In one fluid motion, begin slowly closing your mouth as you gingerly tilt the glass towards an upright position. This is Drip Central Time here. Constant vigilance, patience, and practice will ensure the optimal drip-free sip. |  |
| Step 7. You did it! Great job, rookie. With practice, you can side sip without even thinking about it! Resume lounging. |  |
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